(c) Sloan Parker 2013

I recently bought this new-to-me brand of furniture polish. When it came in the mail, my honey read the back label, just shook her head, and said, “Of course you’d buy this kind.”

Me: “Why?”

She handed me the tin and said, “Read the very bottom.”

I looked at the label and saw their tagline: “Love Your Wood.”

Her: “And the instructions…”

“rub onto wood in a circular motion and rejoice”

Me: “Yeah, you can’t forget the rejoicing. That’s the best part of rubbing your wood.”