Sloan Parker Blog

Thanks to my fabulous and wickedly smart uncle (Hey T!) I learned how to play Pandemic a few months back. It was my first time playing a cooperative board game where players work together rather than compete against each other. We just got our own copy of Pandemic and have been playing the two player version. I have to say, I love cooperative games like this!

Maybe it’s the romantic in me that prefers the non-competitive nature of the game. I really hate seeing my sweetie get frustrated when I’m kicking her ass in a game. I mean, all we have to do is mention the game Clue and I can see her get all serious like she might actually be able to beat me this time, then her expression falls as she thinks, Nope. She ALWAYS wins that game.

Then there’s the other night when we decided to play Monopoly, something we haven’t played in years. I think I ended up in jail 42 times. My mood was pretty good the first 40 times, but I hit the 41st and it was no longer funny. It was just sad.

At least with Pandemic if we go down, we do it as a couple and have some laughs at ourselves at the same time.

Now if we could just figure out how to always get us a happy ending in Pandemic, all would be right with the world. (I do love my happy, all-is-right-with-the-world endings.)

What’s your favorite board game? I’m a game geek and would love to try out some new ones.

Two weeks ago I attended a brainstorming event with some of the writers in my local writing group. It was my third year attending this annual event, and I had such a fabulous time. Not only is it productive in generating story ideas, it’s also a time to recharge my writing energy. Just hanging with these fabulous women (and our lone, brave man who slept in a lake cottage with 12 women) gets me excited about writing. These people have amazing energy and talent. I’m always in awe of their creativity.

We spent the weekend talking about each other’s stories and coming up with titles, plot ideas, ways to kill off characters (don’t worry, that wasn’t mine), and more. We have writers of all genres and heat levels in the group. From contemporary to sci-fi. From sweet inspiration to steamy erotic romance and erotica. Most write romance, but some don’t.

So what kinds of things did I hear that weekend? Here’s a sampling:

“He’s a schizophrenic vampire priest!”

“Die, bitch, die!” (which worked for several of the stories)

“Orgasmoplasm“

“Hooha goo”

“Viagraville”

“Regrow the cherry!”

“Everybody use frickidous in a sentence.” Our 18-year-old, youngest member immediately told us all to, “Go frickidous yourselves.”

“bilabial frickidousness and glaodal stoppages”

And perhaps my favorite…“We need to make his junk grow!”

So yeah, it was a blast. Thanks ladies and Ray! I had a wonderful time.

Don’t wanna close my eyes
Don’t wanna fall asleep
‘Cause I’d miss you, baby
And I don’t wanna miss a thing

- Aerosmith (I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing)

Saying goodbye to someone you love is never easy. Saying goodbye to someone you’ve had in your life every day for 16 years is really tough. Saying goodbye over the course of weeks and months while you provide daily care for them and their fading body takes love and courage and compassion.

I’m hoping I’ll have no shortage of all three over the coming weeks, or maybe months. I’m not sure how long my cat has left, but the end is drawing near. His kidneys have decided to stop doing their job. After one serious crash he’s still here, but the end is closer than I’d like. I’m selfish when it comes to the people and animals I love. I would like another 16 years with him. And then another 16. Then 16 more. Sadly, that’s not how life for these little dudes works out.

He and I are oddly close. So close I can often tell what’s going on with him with one look at him. Once he was sitting on my chest while I was in bed, he gave me a long look, and I knew something was up. I told my partner, “I don’t think he feels good.” When we got to the vet, the doc took what I said seriously until he’d examined him. No fever, nothing abnormal that he could find. He checked his mouth. Nothing. He looked at me with kindness, but like I was nuts, explaining that he couldn’t find anything until he checked his mouth one more time. He found an abscessed tooth all the way in the back. The vet just smiled and said, “You’re right. He’s not feeling well.”

He’s the smartest cat I’ve ever met. Too smart sometimes. He tries to run cons on me all the time. Oh, I’m not doing anything with my paw. I’m just stretching, but as soon as you turn around I’m putting my paw into that glass of milk. He’s also the cuddliest cat. He likes to give hugs (actual hugs) and sit on my lap while I write. In fact, he likes to sit with his front legs draped over my arms impeding my typing, but it’s still nice to have the company during the long hours at the keyboard writing and revising and revising some more.

I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself when he’s gone. I have two other cats, but they tend to go off on their merry way during the day, only coming to see me once in a while when they want a little attention. Or food. They never forget the food. One of them is the sweetest cat I’ve ever had and he does like to sit with me, but he really doesn’t like the typing. And my muse doesn’t like going too long without writing.

So how does one say goodbye? With compassion and love, I guess. That’s all we can do.

We’ve been renting more movies than we have in a long time and cuddling with him while we watch. I’ve been taking more breaks during the day to sit with him and give him some love. He’s still doing some of the little things that show me he’s here and not feeling terribly bad yet.

I guess none of us know how long we’ll have with those we love. We just have to love them as best as we can for as long as we are honored to have them in our lives.

My three cats…

Apparently I need to figure out how to take better pictures with my iPhone or my cats are possessed.

I can be pretty focused when I’m writing.

Helloooo…

And five minutes later…

And later…

I think I forgot something.

Starting a new topic on the blog this week. Thought it might be a fun way to share a bit about writing, my inspiration, my life, and the world around me. It’s called Friday Photo and will include only pictures I’ve taken or ones from my own life. It won’t be every Friday, but when I do share a photo I’ll try to do so with as little verbiage as possible to let the photo stand on its own.

But I’m a writer, you know I won’t be able to resist saying something, at least part of the time.

My nephew, 23 years ago (yes, that’s me holding him):

And now (with his new wife):

Congratulations, kiddo!

When I first started working on Take Me Home, I described the overall idea to my partner. She gave me her opinion and asked a few questions that helped me come up with additional ideas for the resolution of the plot.

It’s been a while since I first told her the idea, so when we were talking the other day about my progress, I was curious how much she recalled. Here’s how the conversation went…

Me: Do you remember how the story ends?

Her: “Yes, they stay together.”

Me: “Well, yeah, it’s a romance. But do you know what happens in the last scene?”

Her: “Uh…” Then she gave her best guest: “They have the butt sex.”

I cracked up laughing. Always nice to know your significant other is paying attention in such great detail. *grin*

Sharing a couple links today…

• Earlier this week I blogged about my love of audio books at my RWA chapter blog. The post is titled What Else Can I Clean? I’d love for you to stop by and let me know what you think of audio books. Do you listen to them? If so, do you find you lose yourself in the story as much as if you were reading the book yourself? Or perhaps more?
• Author SJ Frost has written a fabulous article about the unsung heroes of the publishing world: the editors. Definitely all true, so I’ll take this opportunity to say another huge thank you to my editor at Loose Id, Antonia, and the line editors and proof readers who have helped with my stories. Your insights, time, and effort are greatly appreciated!

In 2005 I started getting more serious about writing than I ever had in my life. I began working on a few stories that had been wandering around in my brain for a while. I would get up early so I’d have an hour to write before work. I’d spend most of my lunch hour writing, sitting at the park with a tablet of paper propped against the steering wheel in my little Cavalier when it was too cold to venture outside. It was all me, writing in my own little world. No audience. No one else to judge or criticize the work. It was a great time of exploration and wonder.

Then in 2007 I got even more serious and gave up the corporate job for (what was supposed to be) a smaller, less intense series of freelance jobs which would ultimately leave me more time for writing.

At that time, I also gave up all of my hobbies and other pursuits. I watched far less TV and movies than I ever had in my life. I was determined to spend all my free time reading and writing. After I finished my first m/m manuscript, I realized my work wasn’t submission ready. I started a new manuscript and went back to the basics. I studied grammar for months and read stacks of articles, blogs, and books on the craft of writing. I joined Romance Writers of America. Every hour I spent studying and rewriting was worth it. I learned a great deal and was propelled forward into a new phase of my writing life.

When I was almost ready to submit the next manuscript (the first I would send out) I started in on researching the other aspects of the business of writing: publishers, building a platform, and options for promotion and marketing in this niche genre. I followed various authors in the genre and made notes on what I liked and didn’t like about their promotion efforts; the way they interacted with readers and other authors; how they represented themselves on blogs, Facebook, and Twitter; and which publishers they worked with and why. Yes, I was a stalker. Still am in some respects. It helped me develop my own plans and goals for my writing career. My main goal became to maintain (as much as I could) 3 qualities in everything I do: be positive, professional, and genuine.

So what am I rambling on about here? Well, after three and a half years, I finally realized something. I needed to take a step back. I needed to find a few other joys in life that were just for me besides my writing. I was still spending time with family and friends, going out and doing some fun stuff (occasionally, at least) but when I was home, I was focused on one pursuit. I had given up all my hobbies, all of the things that had nothing to do with the written word.

I decided to start with one activity–something small that I could spend at least a few minutes on every day. Something that was just for me. Something that I could see progress as I spent time on it.

So I’ve started a garden. This year it’s going to be a small container garden outdoors and some potted plants and flowers inside. (Yes, sadly all the plants I had previously grown died years back). The SO has agreed that I can use part of the closed-off exercise room for my indoor plants so the pesky little feline members of our family won’t destroy them. I’ve always enjoyed gardening and caring for plants and am really looking forward to this, albeit minor, pursuit. Although, I know very little about gardening, so this will also be a learning experience.

Check it out. Here’s the start. These were little seeds not too long ago. I’m ridiculously excited about these little plants. They are the first things I’ve grown in years.

I still believe that writers need to be devoted to reading and writing as their main interest (you can’t be a serious writer if you spend forty hours a week watching reality TV or chatting on Facebook), but we also need balance. Balance is good for so many things in life.

Wish me luck on my “garden” this year. I think I might need it.
Sloan